Langrisser Projects

I finished my exam today~! Anyway:

1) In Scenario 17(28) when Boser was defeated by Bernhardt and gets Alhazard taken from him:

Boser: Do what with it whatever you please…
->I’m not sure whether this is actually correct but I would omit the ‘what’ or simply say “Do whatever you please with it…”

2) When Jessica says that she’s gonna have to get near to Bernhardt:

Aaron: Do you think you’ll walk away from the attempt?

-> I don’t know why but when I saw that I got the impression that she was gonna walk/turn away from her attempt lol….

I understand that the intention was meant to be along the lines of “Do you think that you’ll be able to survive this attempt?”.

I’m not sure whether you need to rephrase that ^_^

3) When you ask Aaron to join you instead of Lana:
Aaron: Very well. Then, do your best.
-> He wouldn’t say that to the group he’s staying on with right? I reckon that it probably was the direct translation from Japanese. Maybe “let’s do our best” would work better here.

I’ve checked that Scenarios 17(17), 18(31) and 18(33) are the variations of the same scenario. So the typos found are:
4) Prologue: With Langrisser still not having having achieved its full power…
-> double having
5) Erwin seems to have forgotten how to spell Rohga’s name and confused the positions of ‘g’ and ‘h’… These typos are at least found at:

a) The beginning of the scenario - Erwin: Is that Rogha leading the enemy search party…? Yes, it is Rogha!

b) Turn 2: Rogha …!

Yup, I think that’s it for now. How many hours do we have before our ‘test reporting abilities’ are halted?

This one looks pretty good. I’ve already gone through tons of dialogue and only saw a couple of things, and one of them I’m not even sure it’s an issue.

That one is when Leon says, “We shall reclaim / Alhazard for His Majesty!” I could just swear there’s a double space between “for” and “His.”

The other one is Egbert talking to Boser,

I know not how our might
compares with the Descendants’
you fought in the past.

Followed by something to the tune of: but we’re gonna kick your ass. The sentence basically says Boser fought the Descendants’ Might, which is weird. I think it’d be grammatically correct if he said: “… compares with that of the Descendants you’ve fought in the past,” but I can’t see how to fit that in three lines.

Chaos hasn’t made an appearance yet. I’ll get back with that later today.

A couple people asked me why I’m so hellbent on getting this patch out on Friday.

Here’s why.

Friday will be almost 10 years to the date I first got involved in the translation “scene.” Of course, at the time, the scene was basically me, Dae Pavlisak and David Timko yelling at each other over who stole what from our Final Fantasy V patches Today, we are seven days away from when Timko and I finally got over it and started working together.

A Friday release will be one month to the day that we formed RPGe.

This means that getting this patch out on Friday will really be just about the 10-year anniversary of when everything began. It was before all the groups formed, before Toma did his Sumo patch, and when the only people around were the then-dormant Demi and SoM2Freak, the long-gone Quatch and Lord Pinto and the rather silent Sydra who was translating FirePro wrestling games.

In other words, it’s a good day to duck back out after dedicating precisely two-fifths of my life to this work — granted I started in December 1996, but there was no serious work until May 1997, and from June on was when this became so important to me.

So … it’s not as arbitrary of a date as previously suspected.

There is a small error at the end of this scenario, after you win the battle.

Liana says: “But, after we end Bernhardt, only the descendants of Light remain. I look forward to them.”

Shouldn’t she say crush/kill/etc. Bernhardt? End sounds somewhat… strange. Also, shouldn’t remain have “will” or “shall” in front of it? It seems like that would make the sentence sound a little neater. In fact, while I’m nitpicking, can’t something be put before “them” as well? Making the final sentence

But, after we crush Bernhardt, only the descendants of Light shall remain. I look forward to facing them.

The last two suggestions are minor, but “end Bernhardt” is just awkward. I used crush instead of defeat because Erwin uses the term defeat a line later.

Some typos when you finish this scenario, but these may have already been fixed according to your latest post (about clearing up spelling errors in the script). Anyway:

1) Erwin: Everyone close to me dies… I can’t protect anyone.1 <- punctuation error

2) Keith: They enemy has been quiet…
-> The

Tomorrow will be the last day for submitting reports. Following that, accounts will revert to being comments-only.

For all the beta testers who actually submitted comments, thank you. You guys helped us so much. We’ve been able to fix a lot of dialogue thanks to your feedback. This game’s biggest nightmare was that we never knew who said what. You giving us the context and seeing what happened live in the game has been invaluable.

Today I made the final spell check over the complete game script: all 859 A4 pages of it. I fixed a lot of small errors that slipped through even the beta test, and spent time unifying a lot of little things, like making sure “hmmm” always has the same number of “m”s, and “hmph” is always “hmph,” not “hmmph.” I know it’s small things, but it really adds to the polish of the finished game.

I also had fun adding in a few references to other games and comments, so even if you played the beta test, you might see a few nameless commanders screaming new things as they die

The instruction manual is still lagging behind, and I really need to work out the final patch. We will be distributing the game in a NINJA 2.0 patch file. Unfortunately, the only NINJA patcher is still the one I wrote. It is available at http://ninja.cinnamonpirate.com/, and has a load of bugs. I’m really sorry about this, and I’m trying to work out a few of the problems. There will be a much better patcher available by the end of the week, but it will likely remain command-line only, since I no longer have Windows.

Beta testers had no end of trouble patching the ROM, and if they had problems following directions, then it will be a nightmare for end users. With NINJA, even if getting it running is a bit of a hassle, we can at least be sure that users are guaranteed to patch successfully. A NINJA patch will reject a 1.0 ROM, fix a 1.1 interleaved ROM, and automatically adjust depending on whether or not it has a header. Byuu and I are working on a successor to NINJA, so even that format will soon go the way of the dinosaur. When our new patch format is ready, we will release Der Langrisser in that as well.

On top of that, tomorrow and Thursday (Wednesday in your time zone) are both production days at the newspaper I work at, so I will be swamped there. And I still need to pick up one of my girlfriend’s birthday presents.

Needless to say, it’s going to be a very, very busy two days. If I just die and can’t make things work, the release might be pushed up to June 9 instead of June 8. You have been given fair warning.

It’s been six years. We don’t really want to foul things up at the end, but by the same token, we don’t want this to drag on another month. A 1.0 release means a game is “done,” not “perfect.” We may polish more dialogue in the future once the patch has seen the eyes of hundreds of end users. If we do, that will be our 1.01 release.

As a last note, we have re-enabled a long-lost feature of the game which has been known to exist since alamone first began his work on a translation in 1998, but which has never been discovered. Look for it in the final release. It’s a little buggy — likely why it was removed — but it’s neat to finally see it in action in the game.

1. At the beginning of Scenario 75: “With the Prince of Darkness / collapsed in the last battle,” collapsed -> vanquished. Collapse sounds weird for a person.

2. I don’t know if this is fixable: “You obtain a Amulet.” That should be “an” Amulet, if it’s at all adjustable. It happens at least twice in this scenario.

Scenario 76’s commanders seem to be very familiar with the rest of the cast …

3. Beginning of Scenario 76: “Their minds fixed on combat, the / Descendants of Light renamed the / castle to the ‘Clashing Castle.’” Too many castles. Consider:

Their minds fixed on combat,
the Descendants of Light renamed
it the 'Clashing Castle.'

4. Vargas says about the late Lester: “He fought bravely in his final moments.” In -> to.

5. A commander reacts to Vargas’ news with the following: “Lester …” Sounds too personal. Maybe Master Lester, or Captain, Lord, Sir, et cetera.

6. Bernhardt makes an appearance, gives a speech; a commander appears out of nowhere to say a line, battle the Kaiser, and die. I don’t like the commander’s line: “You want us to shake / hands and forget / you killed our friends?” The commander’s friends? Don’t think so. Suggestion: ” … and forget all / the lives you’ve taken?”

7. Then this commander dies and says: “Hah … hah,” which is weird. Another commander says the same death quote, too.

8. Egbert, later: “I’d rather avoid this, / but we need to liberate / the shrine maidens.” Liberate is pretty vivid, but wrong; the maidens are not in captivity. “Locate” might be better.

9. A commander, when attacking me: “All the way here!” Huh? A simple “Charge!” would fit better IMO.

10. A commander death quote: “Cherie … / I’m sorry.” That’s Princess Cherie to you, buster.

11. A commander: “It’s sickening / to think I called you / an ally, Erwin!” -> “It’s sickening to / think this Erwin once / fought beside our Princess!”

12. A commander: “And anyway there’s / no reason flee / from the likes of you!” I don’t remember the exact context, but my notes are clear I thought that last “you” should be a “them.” Hmm, it’s kind of coming back. I think Cherie asks the commanders to leave, and she gets this response.

Next up, the End!

1. Beginning of the final Scenario in this branch, 77: “Within the Castle walls, / missions, emotions and ideals / will clash on the battlefield.” I’m not sure, but it looks like there are two locations for the action in this sentence. Argh, I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe just moving the first sentence fragment to the end would make it better (missions … / will clash … / within …).

2. Still at the beginning: “After this final battle, the / fate of El Sallia will lie in / the hands of the victor.” Again, I can’t quite explain what’s wrong with this one, but the spider-sense is definitely tingling (no, haven’t seen Spidey 3). And a re-ordreing of the lines might be in order here, too: “The fate of El Sallia will / lie in the hands of the victor / of this final battle.”

3. A commander’s death quote: “I can’t die … / My kingdom.” Change my to the. “My” sounds as if he thinks he’s the king.

4. Egbert, at the end, rhetorically speaking: “Please rest in peace and leave this world to our hands.” To our hands? I’d go with “in.”

5. Erwin has fantasies about the twins (*cough* stop projecting *cough*): “Now, you’ll be / coming with me.” Comma not needed.

Ending cut-scene.

6. Egbert: “After uniting the continent, / we can seal the Dark Blade / so such a catastrophe never / happens again.” What catastrophe? The birth of the Empire? I suggest: ” … we can seal Alhazard / so the Darkness never / rises again.” Not very good, I know.

7. Erwin: “I will to work to benefit / the continent, and to ensure / this era remains free of war.” Cut the first “to.”

8. Rohga says he’s leaving, Hein tells him he’s welcome to come back if he feels like it. Rohga replies: “But, if I do change my mind, / I might show up to make your / life miserable for a while!” The “but” is not needed, unless there’s an ending where Hein doesn’t interrupt. Also, life -> lives, as Rohga is talking to both Hein and Erwin.

9. Two commanders in a port town say nearly identical, consecutive lines. To wit:

“Disperse and strike! / If we beat these guys, / this port will be ours!”
“Get them! / If we can get past these guys, / all the booty will be ours!”

I’d say change the second one to: “Get them! / They’re the only thing that’s / keeping us from the booty!” Or something.

10. Leon: “If you fools who are looking for a swift end, then by all means, keep fighting!” Delete the “who.”

11. Erwin’s epilogue: “With both great Langrisser / and the dreaded Alhazard, / the Empire was invincible.” Is it “the” great Langrisser?

12. Hein’s epilogue: “One can scarcely imagine / how powerful he has become.” Has become, or had become? Is Hein still alive?

13. Now I’m being REALLY picky. Rohga’s epilogue:

Grief-stricken, Rohga parted
with Erwin and allies
for his own reasons and left on
a journey to the world's edge.

Move for to the previous line.

14. Imelda’s epilogue: “Despite her beautiful and showy / appearance, the General’s / cold and merciless nature held / her command over her division.” Held her command? I truly don’t know what this sentence is trying to get across.

15. Vargas’ epilogue:

Due to his heroic use of his
own body as a shield to protect
his comrades, nobody had died
except for himself ...

Worded funny, don’t you think? Also, “nobody had died” is probably wrong. How about:

Vargas heroically used his own
body as a shield to protect his
comrades, saving everyone's
lives except his own ...

Das Ende!

Here’s some stuff I’ve picked up:

1) The secret tile appears like this:

Releasing the anchor
Caused a chain to drop.
-> the ‘C’ should be in lower case.

2) During the scenario, Erwin and Imelda have a conversation:

Imelda: Haven’t I told you?
Imelda: Alhazard’s revival was His Majesty’s last request!
Erwin: What? Why would the Kaiser want Alhazard unsealed?
Imelda: I, I did it… <-Huh?

-> I don’t understand why she would say that though….
3) When you finish the scenario, the villagers thank you and let you use their boats. And they seem to fear that you didn’t catch on as they seem to say it again:

Villager: You probably need to use the ships too, right?
Villager: It’s not much, but we’ll lend them to you. Make good use of them.
Hein: Imelda’s troops… are committing atrocities…
Cherie: Hurry, Erwin! To Velzeria!
Villager: You probably need to use the ships too, right?
Villager: It’s not much, but we’ll lend them to you. Make good use of them.
Erwin: Thank you.
Erwin: All right, hurry up, everyone!

-> I’m not sure whether it’s a mistranslation or some sort of bug. I’ll send in the save ^_^

Am in the lab. Found a typo in Turn 2:

Erwin: Stop it, Lana. Boser is alread dead, isn’t he?

-> already

I don’t think I’ll be able to finish the game by this week though… I’ve got an exam this Wednesday.. But I’ll try my best to play in between here and there and cover as many scnearios as I can. Thanks for the great work so far~!